Whatever Happened to Old Fashioned Play?
Pull up a chair outside in the shade, lean your head back, close your eyes, and think back to summertime when you were a kid. Mom has told you to go outside and play, and oh by the way, don’t slam the screen door! Now, if you were a child before the 80s, the memories of your play may include a pick up game of some sort with neighborhood kids, a hike with friends along a creek looking for pollywogs or chasing the local raccoon, a fantastical trip to a far off land or planet which looked remarkably like a corner of your yard, building some incredible structure or vehicle that only the builders could identify, or something as simple as lying on your back with a friend naming what the passing clouds looked like.
I never thought much about all of this; after all, generations of children had played that way and generations more would as well. Or would they? Since I first became a parent 21 years ago, I’ve noticed that this type of play is going the way of highly organized sports. Now I have nothing against organized sports, as they provide some very valuable experience, but our current passion for them seems to have changed the way the world plays, a change that I’m not so sure is a totally good one.
The one thing that all of our ways of playing in my day had in common was that the kids were in total control of what transpired, we had the ownership. Whatever we were playing we created the rules, we worked together to solve problems and we made any needed adjustments all without adult interference. For example, if, while playing a pick up game, one of the players was called home we didn’t stop playing just because one team had more players than the other. Instead, we figured out a way to equalize the teams. Maybe, a strong hitter had to bat with the opposite hand, or the strongest player on the disadvantaged team got two turns to everyone else’s one. Our basic goal was to play the game and to keep it going as long as possible. Playing and being together, not winning, were the most important things on our minds. Our play covered a wide range of activities, which are wonderfully described at www.centerforcreativeplay.org. We had physical activity, reflective time, building or manipulative play, pretend play, creative play, game playing, and even quiet time.
What I have noticed happening more and more with kids is that for some reason some parents have felt the need to take over playtime. So many of the kids my kids grew up with and many of those I teach have never had the fun of creating their own play. Mom and dad have the afternoons after school and weekends booked solid. It is not unusual for me to hear a student say that they are tired because they were playing soccer, lacrosse or some other organized sport until 10 pm and then they still had to eat dinner. While these sports help to promote many skills, I have to wonder what the total impact over time will be on kids if this is the only type of play they experience. By missing out on the other types of play, kids also miss out on the chance to develop skills dealing with problem solving, creativity, exploration, self-regulation, language skills, reflection, self-expression, and perhaps most importantly independence. Where else can a child safely take full charge and responsibility of their actions, with no pressure to succeed, if not during play?
Why this change in play? I think many things have contributed to this: an increase in the number of families with two working parents with a need for an easy approach to activities, national organizations such as AYSO who provided just such an easy approach, the disappearance of school intramural programs, a change in the sense of community (do we really know and trust our neighbors?) and safety within the community, too many ‘toys’ that do it all for the child, and parents with a need to control all aspects of their children’s lives (perhaps due to both parents working and feeling guilty about not spending as much time with the kids).
As far as the fallout of a diet of only organized activities, I have already seen at least a part of it. In my classes, I see students who among other things don’t know how to self-initiate, don’t know how to create and invent during a role play, can’t figure out on their own something appropriate to do if they finish a task early, and can’t think for themselves when given open-ended questions. At an age when kids should have mastered basic independent thought and should be starting to develop higher levels of thinking, some of my students are still working on developing the most basic aspects of independent thinking. I believe behavior has also been heavily impacted. A most troubling observation is that the number of “under a physician’s care” stress related illnesses are increasing each year. These kids, for the most part, have no down time in their lives to just do their own thing. Inappropriate behavior is another issue. When kids are on the go non-stop from one activity to another, when do they get the chance to just sit and reflect about what is going on around them. In other words when do they get to just sit and watch the clouds go by. Never having a chance to do this seems to result in a child who has to have constant stimulation. When that stimulation is not provided, inappropriate behavior is the result. Some schools are actually trying to teach kids how to play the old fashioned way during recess in an attempt to put an end to bullying. While I do believe there are children who are truly incapacitated by ADD, I think that term has been used far too often to make excuses for a child’s behavior. I really think that if more spontaneous play were a part of every child’s life, fewer kids would display these behavior patterns. While by no means a scientific finding I have to say that the kids I taught in Los Angeles, who’s parents were for the most part on welfare and had not gotten much beyond a 5th grade education, did not demonstrate anywhere near as many behavior issues as the kids here in Park City (except those born to drug using mothers). They were also much better at using many other skills. Those kids had nothing because their parents simply couldn’t afford it. Since they had so little of their own, they were incredibly curious about anything I introduced to them. The questioning, exploration, and creativity all came naturally. I was only needed as an audience and the occasional interpreter.
So parents, now that school is out and summer has begun, maybe we should all take a step back and let kids play on their own. If your child is accustomed to participating in only the highly organized activities, there will be a learning curve, it won’t just automatically happen. Your child will have to learn how to be a child, and you may have to learn how to help them (checkout the above website), but once they do, I think you’ll find in the end your child is happier, less stressed (you will be too), more confident, a better thinker, and yes, more self-reliant. Parents, the latter is not a bad thing; it is an integral part of growing up.
