By Libby Wadman, 6th Grade Reading Teacher at Ecker Hill International Middle School, Park City, UT

    Well, June 8th has come and gone, and I have cleaned up my room, turned in my check out sheet, signed an untold number of yearbooks, given hugs galore, and entered my grades for the last time this year.  It’s this last item that I feel a need to address with the start of summer.  Final report cards will go home soon, and while I worry whether the skills the kids have learned will stick with them, I know some students and their parents are only worrying about which letter grades are on the report card.

     I would hope that this final report card would be the cause of some profound reflection on the part of students and parents.  Take a deep breath and relax.  Now, ask yourself what is the true purpose of the report card?  What are your expectations for your child?  What does it really mean if your child has an ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘C’ or lower?  What is your role as a parent in dealing with any of these grades?  To me, as a teacher and parent, these are very important questions, the answers to which may make or break your child in the future.

     At some point in the last few decades, the importance and meaning of grades shifted.  Grades are intended to be a representation of how well a student has done, and how many skills were learned throughout a time period.  An ‘A’ should represent work done very well with tremendous thought, with a great number of skills mastered, placing that student well above what is expected for the grade level.  A ‘B’ should represent work done well with a great deal of thought, with most skills mastered, placing the student somewhat above grade level expectations.  A ‘C’ represents a student who did work as expected for the grade level, and mastered the skills expected; a ‘D’ reflects achievement somewhat below grade level; and an F represents very little work, thought, or demonstration of skills happening.  The shift that has taken place has totally changed this age-old standard.  Now, according to some parents, an A is the only acceptable grade, anything below that is failing.  Believe it or not, every year I chat with parents who express this very thought.  What I find even more appalling is that those same parents don’t want to hear how the student is actually doing, they just want the child to have an A, and will do anything to have that A.    It seems that ‘As’ are the latest item to have in order to keep up with the Joneses.

     One of the biggest shocks I’ve had as a teacher is experiencing how rude some parents can be.  I’ve even had parents, angry that their student did not have an ‘A’, shouting and swearing in my room with my then young children sitting right there.  Fortunately, the vast majority of the parents do not behave in this manner, but I find myself constantly thinking of those few who do.   Oh, not because of what is said to me, but because of the message they are sending to their children, and what that message may be doing to that child.   I cannot begin to describe the feeling I have when students confide in me, usually in tears, that they feel they can’t live up to their parents’ expectations. In other cases, some students create an unreasonable amount of internal stress worrying about the letter grade.  It is not surprising to have a kid say they are sick during a test.  When I talk to the child to see what I can do to help, I am frequently told there’s nothing I can do, they are just worried they’ll be a failure if they end up with anything less than an A.  Think about that for a moment.  If that’s all you can think about, how could anyone do well?  For many students I see a lack of interest or disengagement in what is going on around them. They seem to think that like self-esteem, knowledge and grades will just be handed to them.  We know from too many school violence events that this disengagement can be exceedingly harmful. But more on that in a future article.

     Unfortunately, ‘getting’ the ‘A’ doesn’t stop with tears and tummy aches.  Some parents berate the teacher to ‘give’ the ‘A’ even if the ‘A’ was not earned.  Yes, grades are earned not given, although I will admit that when a parent is that adamant about seeing the ‘A’ on the report card, I’ve been known to acquiesce. In many of those cases I felt that the student was better off with an unearned ‘A’ than incurring the wrath of the parent. Then there are the bribes.  $100 an ‘A’ is relatively cheap these days, and if the bribes don’t work, there is always the option to ground a child until they are well into their twenties.  Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I have had students who have spent almost the entire school year grounded for grades.  In one case I know of, an older student was thrown out of the house when there weren’t straight ‘As’ on the report card.

     What I really find horrendous about all that I’ve just related is that some critical pieces are missing in these discussions.  In all of my conversations with the parents and students described, not once did anyone talk about what was learned, or what the student did to achieve the grade, or if anyone was proud of the work.  Parents, it is vitally important to ask your child regularly, “What skills have you learned?” “Did you do all you could to learn?” and “Did you earn the grade?” In other words, “did you work?”  And in the case of low grades, maybe instead of extreme punishment, you could ask your child, “What do you think went wrong?” “What could you do next time to do better?” “Have you talked to the teacher and asked questions?” “What can we, your parents, do to help you?” Then be sure to follow through. Yes parents, you, as well as your child and the teacher, are a key element for success in school.  School must be a priority to you over sports and vacations, or it will never be important to your student.  Conversations started with these questions can build a terrific framework for the student to build (not have it handed to them) his or her self-esteem, which then gives ownership of the work done.  There is nothing more gratifying for a teacher (or parent, or especially the child) to hear than a child express how proud he or she is of the work they have done.  At that point, the student is taking charge of their learning, which should be the goal of every parent, student, and teacher; after all it is the student’s learning. 

     So parents, maybe this is the summer to rethink your family’s approach to school.   First, make school a priority if it isn’t already.  Even if your child is truly the next big sports star, if he or she can’t read and think well enough to know if the contracts are written correctly, all that talent won’t matter.  Second, talk with your child about the learning process and what both of you expect from it.  Third, when school starts engage the teacher as the ally he or she is, not as an enemy who is out to get your child.  Trust me, none of us are in this business to purposely hurt children.  We do this because we love to guide and help children on their way to a successful life. 

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 19th, 2007 at 7:49 am and is filed under Arts & Culture, Education, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.